Tackiest Romantic Getaways
Posted by Amy RenéeGo to bed like never before! We have seen it in the movies: a couple on a road trip break down in a small, quirky town and get a hotel room for the night. Upon entering the room and flicking on the light, instead of a crazy man wielding a chainsaw, the room comes to life with disco music, a circular bed is slowly revolving, the walls are covered in bright pink and orange shag carpet with Zebra accents. A mirror ball, hanging from a mirrored ceiling, reflects squares of light and there is a heart shaped Jacuzzi bubbling in the background. Go ahead, roll your eyes and laugh your head off. You may prefer to book that pricey room at a Waldorf Astoria, however, if you dare, go for a little tacky and off-the-wall sappy.
Do you fantasize of sleeping in a spaceship in a galaxy far far away or wonder what it would be like to sleep on ice or role-play a prison break? You may not believe what you can find when it comes to themed rooms around the world. Here is a list of rooms you may want to avoid from wide-eyed surreal, to downright wacky. These quirky retreats may cause some to run away screaming, laugh in the hotel manager’s face or, depending on what sizzles your bacon, exude romantic ecstasy. Rooms are located in the United States as well as international for those of you looking to spice up life far from reality. We won’t tell. If nothing else, remember laughter, along with chocolate, is an aphrodisiac, so register as a cartoon character, don’t forget the bubble bath and read on to start planning your chivalrous romantic getaway. All prices listed in US dollars.
1) Trucker’s Paradise
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Luxury Truck Suite (Fantasy Land Hotel)
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
Price: $228/night.
This hotel may be Canada’s version of Disney World, however the focus is on this one so-called Luxury Truck Suite. The fact that luxury and truck are in the same sentence tips you off right there. After driving all day, there’s nothing like sleeping in the back of your tiny truck with traffic lights blinking you into a dreamless rest. Wouldn’t a race car be more romantic or a limousine fit a bigger bed? We are talking luxury right?
2) Fancy Some Bubbly?
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Crystal Chalice Suite. (Loop Inn Motel)
Avenel, NJ
Price: $130 for four hours or $300/night.
Frothy! You will have bragging rights to say you have soaked your entire body in seven-foot high stemware. This hotel was built in the eighties and has stayed in the eighties. Heart shapes abound in this motel’s choice of Fantasy Suites.
3) Wig Wacky Wonderland
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The Fifi Suite. (Hicksville Trailer Palace)
Joshua Tree, CA
Price: $100/night.
The owners of Fifi Mahoney’s Wig Store in New Orleans shared their love of quirky by designing this trailer and if the pink interior doesn’t make you nauseous then perhaps the glowing wig heads hovering above the bed will do the trick! You can always hang out with your Hicksville neighbors and enjoy this quirky trailer park together.
4) Tacky Teepees
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Teepee or Wigwam (Wigwam Motel)
San Bernardino, CA
Price: $66 – 82/night.
Want to expose your significant other to a native american style getaway, but don’t have time to set up a scene from Dances With Wolves? Find yourself a Wigwam or teepee and pretend the Tribal Chief has arranged marriage for you and that lucky someone. Remember to bring a few cows (or homemade necklace) to exchange for your love. This teepee camp lists hot showers as an amenity. Only a true tribal camp with palm trees can say that.
5) Looney Toon Town
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Toon Town Suite. (Red Rose Hotel)
Chiang Rai, Thailand.
Price: $45 – $158.
Yet another room where you can sleep in a car or in space, but if you need your Disney fix while in Thailand or desire a romantic tour of toon town look it up.
6) Love In A Batlefield
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Null Stern Hotel
Teufen, Switzerland
Price: $N/A.
Ranked as Europe’s top 100 hotels in 2010 this hotel used to be a Swiss nuclear bunker. Null Stern means zero star in German. This hotel remains a prototype for the future of using unused real estate to create business opportunities for minimalist environments. Who said minimal isn’t the new sexy? Note: This hotel recently closed its doors to focus on opening in more urban areas. The current hotel is now a museum.
7) Twilight Delight
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Space Walk Suite. (Pink Palace Fantasy Suites)
Chicago, IL.
Price: $110 – $139. Price increases on Valentines Day. Call for hourly rate.
Gaze upon the stars and sleep in a room-for-two space ship! Looks like any position you choose in this bed could be dangerous. BYOB (Bring your own blankets, and pillows).
8) Icey Hot
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Ice Room (Ice Hotel)
Lapland, Sweden.
Price: Starts at $600/night.
Wacky not tacky! When you think of a hot, steamy romantic getaway you immediately envision a frozen palace of ice right? Maybe not. It depends on how accustomed you are to having animal skin as the only way to keep warm. There is an ice hotel in Alaska and Canada, but the first one was built in Lapland, Sweden. This room is kept at –5ºF and is furnished with ice sculpted furniture and unique artwork to make the room cozier, if possible. You sleep in a thermal sleeping bag on a special bed built of snow and ice, on reindeer skins. Hotel staff recommends you spend one night on the ice and the rest in a regular hotel room. A hot cup of lingonberry juice appears at your bedside in the morning. How does it appear? Who cares? As long as it’s hot!
9) Break Free From It All
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Freedom Room (Propeller Island Hotel)
Berlin, Germany
Price: $103/night
German artist, Lars Stroschen (who designed the Propeller Island Hotel) probably agreed that a bed and a toilet are all you really need for an overnight stay, but if it is romance you are looking for this room is far from it, unless of course, you can tolerate sleeping two to a cot and can pop-a-squat in front of your partner. If you ever wondered what it would be like to break out of jail the Propeller Island Hotel has created the “Freedom” room furnished just as uncomfortable as the real thing. Except you get to escape whenever you want. Hotel management asks that you be wary and respectful of the art as you step around the room. There goes your idea on playing Marco Polo before bedtime!
10) Leapord Skin, Armor and Shackles Oh My!
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Mid-Evil Fantasy Suite (Don Q Inn)
Dodgeville, WI.
Price: Contact Don Q Inn for price
Little did the original builders know that almost a hundred years later the barn they built in 1914 would be refurbished into a hotel with a mid-evil themed bondage room. The Don Q Inn is the king of wacky romance with 21 suites featuring igloos, hot air balloons, dead animals on the walls, and a bed swing. A tacky romantic getaway would not be complete without a mid-evil torture chamber (shackles included). Excited about this? Then why not go all out and dress the part? This suite has a hydrotherapy heart shaped tub and AM/FM radio!

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